


In Your Current, I Swim

by TyrellMermaid



Category: Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games (Movies)
Genre: 70th Hunger Games, District 4, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Victory Tour
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-29
Updated: 2014-09-29
Packaged: 2018-02-19 07:31:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2380013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TyrellMermaid/pseuds/TyrellMermaid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Six months have passed since Annie Cresta emerged as the Victor of the 70th Hunger Games and she still hasn't recovered from her experiences in the arena. Now she is about to embark on the Victory Tour and will be forced to relive it all again. With her flashbacks and dissociation getting worse, only Finnick Odair, her mentor, is able to soothe her. On the eve of their departure, Finnick searches for a way to help Annie get cope with her fears until he realises that before she goes to the Capitol, Annie needs to make a journey of her own.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In Your Current, I Swim

_“Break, break, break, On thy cold gray stones, O Sea! And I would that my tongue could utter The thoughts that arise in me.”_

_\- Alfred Lord Tennyson_

* * *

 

He found her crouched in a corner, staring towards a blank wall.

The room felt taut. Various beauticians and stylists from the Capitol hovered vaguely behind her, unsure what to do. Some looked towards her, scanning her with a mixture of pity and fear. Most whispered to one another - a few even had the gall to looked annoyed. An older woman, clad in grey feathers, spotted him in the doorway and broke through the huddle.

"Finnick, thank god you're here. She's had another...moment...We tried to get her to calm down, but she won't listen to reason."

Finnick went to Annie, trying to shut out the eyes that we're burning against both their backs.

"Annie, it's Finnick," Her eyes darted briefly towards him. "I'm here. We're in your new house. We're not anywhere else." Her eyes found him again, longer this time before casting a frightened look behind her. "It's okay, we're not in the capitol now. They've just come to do your hair and make-up for the cameras later on..." Annie started to whimper. Finnick sank a little. He had to remind himself he was still learning, he couldn't get it right every time. He wanted to reach out and comfort her, but he knew this sudden movement would only make things worse.

Behind them, someone gave an agitated cough. Finnick clenched his jaw. Beside him Annie curled up tighter, as if she was squeezing herself into disappearance. _This is no good,_ he thought, _it's as bad as having the cameras in here with us._

"Annie, I'm going to ask them to leave. Is that alright? I'll still be here, I'll come back to you in second, okay? I haven't left." He waited for her response - a small nod - before standing up and approaching the woman who spoke to him earlier.

When he had first seen her, Finnick assumed she had been in her late fifties or early sixties. But looking at the woman close up now, he noticed her hair was a sleek black without a trace of grey and her skin had a glossy look to it, as if it had been pulled back or plumped up. He thought of Mags and how even with the creases around her eyes and the skin that sagged beneath her cheeks, she still looked more youthful than the women from the Capitol. The women there had always snickered at her grey tresses but Mags always held her head up high and looked at others with nothing but kindness. The woman in front of him, however, looked hardened and haughty and Finnick had a feeling it was her who had coughed to get his attention earlier. He smiled and hoped it wasn't a grimace.

"What happened just before she had the attack?"

"Absolutely nothing. We were just talking about how this is all so exciting for her and how much fun it's going to be and she just started _screaming_. Then after awhile she just crawled over there and...stopped. Do you think it's just nerves?"

Finnick allowed himself a momentary look of distaste before reeling himself back in. He relaxed his shoulders and took in a deep breath before addressing the room.

"All of this - this whole tour is stressful for Annie. It brings back certain memories. By rights she shouldn't have to do any of it but, what Snow wants..."

All eyes were on Finnick, as usual. _They have already forgotten about her,_ he thought and through his clenched fist he allowed his nails to bite against his skin.

"There are too many people here, it's causing her more distress." He turned to the woman once again, "Everyone needs to leave, I can look after her but not with everyone watching". The woman ruffled her feathers but reluctantly agreed. As she ushered her team out of the house, Finnick saw enough smirks and glances out of the corner of his eye to know this would get back to the Capitol soon enough. No doubt sold off to some television station or magazine as some twisted 'story' for the Capitol's consumption.

Finnick caught the attention of the feathered woman before she left. "This tour is going to be hard on Annie - you understand what she's gone through. So we need to minimise anything that might trigger her."

"I know it's near enough impossible" Finnick added when she begun to protest. "But the least we can do is try to make this whole ordeal easier on her. There are little things we can do. She needs to know she's safe."

The woman lifted her head, looking at him intently, "We're on a schedule. What if she loses her wits again?"

"She has her wits, she isn't mad," Finnick shot back. "And the schedule will work around her. She's the victor, isn't she? Before we leave, we'll go through how everyone can help when she suffers another attack."

"Very well," she replied cooly, "But I'm not sure if we'll be of any use, she only seems to respond to you. Then again, I'm sure you must have your own duties and - "

"- And I'll be with her, the whole time. That's my only duty."

*****

When the door finally shut, Finnick tried not to bend to his anxiety. He felt responsible for Annie - or was it more than that? He understood, to some extent, what she was going through. It was not like he was unfamiliar with the flashbacks and the hideous nightmares that woke him up screaming from his bed. Yet, he shared this same experience with all the other victors. It was the elephant in the room every time they met. So what was it about Annie that made him feel so protective over her?

Annie was in the same position, curled up against the wall staring into nothingness. Her hair fell across her face, ending in wisps at her shoulders and her breathing was shallow.

Finnick walked over and crouched down next to her, being sure to give her enough space. Her eyes flicked up to him - a flash of green reddened by the tears that still wet her eyelashes.

"They're gone now, Annie. It's just us. We're here, in your home in District 4 and you're safe."

Annie let out a small sob. Her shoulders heaved, but she seemed to loosen slightly.

"This isn't my home." Her voice was small, diluted - like paint being washed off a brush. Worry crept into the lines in Finnick's face.

"We're in your house, Annie. See, your boots are by the doorway, and over there is the plate with the fishes your mother painted for you. It's all here…" Finnick put his palm to the cold green wall and spread out his fingers. "It's all here, all within these walls."

Annie breathed a little deeply, as if gathering the energy to pull herself back. She lifted up one arm and placed the palm of her hand on the wall near Finnick's. She splayed out her fingers, almost touching his.

After a long while she spoke again, her voice stronger this time.

"It's okay, Finnick," she said, attempting a small smile, "I'm - I'm here. I know where I am."

Finnick beamed and, without thinking, moved closer to her.

But Annie's smile faded and she pulled back. She took her hand off the wall and stood up, stabilising herself against a chair. Pulling her cardigan around her, she stared about the room.

"I know I'm here. I know where I am... But don't you see?" She said turning towards Finnick, "This still isn't my home."

And Finnick understood.


End file.
